As a wedding planner you deal with many different personalities and a TON of women…and as a woman, you know what women are like. Aside from potentially having a “bridezilla” or a “mother of the bridezilla”, you can end up with bridesmaids who think they run the show on the wedding day.

Now of course, it’s natural a bridesmaid wants her bestie to have a perfect wedding, who wouldn’t want everything to run perfectly? Here is the thing- it never does. Not even the best of the best planners can prevent the best man from getting food poisoning the night before. There are things we just cannot control and as difficult as it is- we have to accept it.

That being said, having a bossy bridesmaid can be an added stress to any planner or bride, though it’s wise to anticipate it. The tricky part is handling it in a professional manner that will not backfire. The last thing a planner wants is to have to talk with her and then have the bride return to you with a different story. At the end of the day, planners are there to make things run smoothly so everyone enjoys themselves as much as possible. But what to do when a bridesmaid attempts to take over on the day of the wedding?

Prepare in advance, and have something for her to be in charge of and for only her to do. This way you are killing several birds with one stone. By giving her a task (and make sure it’s a lengthy one or an ongoing one) it will keep her occupied, while making her feel helpful and minimizing your stress all at once. Yes, you will have a team there who is more than capable of looking after everything but no one needs a bridesmaid coming into the kitchen and barking at the catering staff while you are dealing with a wardrobe malfunction with the bride.

On the more “preventive” side of things, have a chat with the entire bridal party at the rehearsal dinner. This way you can voice your expectations of them and let them know that unless their assistance is solicited by you, all they need to do is enjoy themselves. Reassure them that you have plenty of experience and you have everything covered so they can help by making memories with the bride and groom.