So often the groom gets “left behind” so to speak during the process of wedding planning, but let’s face it, most men are NIDS (Not Into Details). They just want to get married to you and celebrate with friends and family all night and wake up in a familiar place! They aren’t into the color of the edible pearls on the cupcakes that must match the rest of the color scheme for the whole wedding. However, it would be nice to stop once in awhile and look up from underneath the 12 layers of tulle and make sure he is happy too, here are some suggestions.
Keep it drama free
Okay, we all know that planning a wedding is the essence of drama in itself, there will always be drama but keep it away from him! Nothing annoys a man more than for his woman to come to him with a problem where we hope he will just listen to us vent. Then he offers a solution (because that is what men do) and then we freak out! Example: Your sister is being the bridesmaid from the underworld and is preventing the bridal party from choosing their dresses because she doesn’t want to go over a certain price. You come home all upset, frustrated and annoyed and start on a rant and he patiently listens. After you are done, he says “Well tell her she either deals with it or she’s kicked out of the bridal party” sips his beer and puts his feet up on the couch. You go berserk…you can’t kick her out! There’s no way your mother will allow that to happen, your other siblings will get involved…why would you say that!? With that being said, keep it simple; focus on the things that are progressing and getting accomplished, save the rantfest for your maid of honor!
Make time for him
Yes planning your wedding is time consuming…unless you have a planner of course! Set aside some time weekly to spend with him; maybe even doing something that he wants to do. This will show him that as important as planning is right now, he is important as well. Sure he knows you have been obsessing over whether a rose sauce would go better with the pasta option on the menu rather than an Alfredo sauce, but you both need time together minus wedding related discussion. Take him out for brunch or go hit a sports bar to see his favorite team play, stay at home and bond, go away for a weekend and shut off your cell phones. No matter what you do, making time for him shows him that you appreciate him and his support.
Include him in the planning
You aren’t the only person getting married, so often I have had to remind brides that it’s your groom’s day as well! Even though most men are NID’s, it doesn’t mean you can’t include them in the planning at all. When you schedule appointments to see venues, bring him along! Chances are he will have some great questions for the coordinator. Menu tastings are another great way to include your groom…what man doesn’t love food?! You can both have fun trying samples from menu’s the catering company has created and you can both make the final choice. How about your music list for the DJ? Okay so Green Day might not be ideal for dancing but asking for his input will emphasize that his opinions and thoughts are taken into account.
This isn’t to say you can’t tell him about some problems you’re working on, or spend 6 days chasing your florist down. Wedding planning is a tough job and you both need to support each other, I just don’t want you to get lost in the details and forget about what is really important…both of you being happy!