Your wedding day is the one thing you thought about as a little girl all the way up until now. The most important task for you to tackle shortly after engagement is to choose your bridal party. This can be a daunting task since you have a lot of friends, plus family- it can be very difficult to decide. Here are a few tips and reminders that may assist you during the process.
- Long lost friends
You may have promised her back in the third grade that she would be your maid of honor but the last time you spoke to her was when you graduated high school. Thinking practically here, besides your heartfelt promise, there are many things to consider in this instance. You need someone who knows you inside and out to be your maid of honor and chances are you’ve changed since high school. You also need someone who knows your fiance and family well in order to help keep things together. She may live far away or have a family of her own, you don’t know her circumstances. If you haven’t been in touch for years, it may not be a wise choice.
I’ve seen it work out in the past where sisters have been in the bridal party and usually things turn out wonderfully! The best advice I can give here is that if you and your sister do not have a great relationship, it may be prudent to have them take on another role. I say this because in some situations you don’t want to be dealing with temper tantrums about the bridesmaid dress, or that they want their hair different or are just overall unreasonable. It can happen, it will cause dissension within your family if she complains and it will slow things down! Just a heads up!
- Friends who live far away
Don’t get me wrong, it can be done but only if the friend is really genuine and dedicated to traveling in order to help plan. It might make more sense to have them as a bridesmaid rather than a maid of honor since its less responsibility. There are several ways to make this a little bit easier for example: Skype sessions! You can also create a group or page on Facebook where you can all post pictures of dresses and give input on important things like the bachelorette! Make it a priority to discuss the uncomfortable subject of money as they will not only be paying for their dress and contributing to functions surrounding the wedding but travel expenses as well. If they cannot afford to be that involved then you may have to reconsider.
- Friends who are happy for you…
Ohhh yes…not everyone wants to see you happy, true fact please accept it. For various reasons such as unhappily married and they have to watch you be deliriously happy. Not married and everyone around is and they feel like the last woman standing. Trying circumstances in their lives and they can’t give you the emotional support you need. Either way they are miserable and are not trying to hide it. Do you really want a “Debbie downer” to be in the bridal party raining on your sunshine? It can really affect your outlook on impending marriage, create tension between you or worse, make you second guess marriage altogether.
Ultimately, whomever you choose to be in your bridal party must understand what it means in its entirety. It’s not just about organizing, dress shopping and parties, they are also making a commitment. They are promising that as they stand at the altar with you that they will help to support your marriage through good and bad as well. So be sure to ask friends and family who won’t be quick to suggest “divorce” or antagonize a situation but be there to offer wisdom and encouragement.