Being a wedding planner sounds so glamorous, exciting and fairytale like to anyone who isn’t an actual wedding planner. It’s always so funny to us because our careers are completely romanticized by Hollywood, darn you JLo! Now, we love what we do, otherwise we wouldn’t be doing it but being a planner isn’t as glitzy as everyone think. Here are 7 things you need to know about wedding planners.

1. We plan everything…literally

We don’t sit in a room covered in white roses, drinking champagne, collecting checks and eating hors d’oeurves. It’s hectic! There is out-sourcing to be done that can take hours, lengthy phone calls to wedding vendors, constant emails, text messages and traveling involved. So all that stuff you see in movies doesn’t tell you much about the hard work and endless hours behind the scenes before the big day!

2. We hate being your therapist

If you have hired a planner for your wedding, whether is full or month of coordination, that is what we are there to do- make it happen. We are not there to be your emotional sounding board because your wacky Aunt Hilda refuses to wear the dress you chose for her. Mind you we certainly want to help solve any problems that might interfere with the wedding day, but we don’t want to be involved in your family drama.

3. We need you to stick to your lock in dates

Yes of course we know this is one of the most important days of your life and you want it all to be as perfect as it can, but changing your mind 50 slows us down. So when we give you a “lock in” date which translates to the day the final decision is made about something, please stick to it. The more you change your mind, the less time there is and the more back tracking we have to do and opportunities can be lost.

4. We do have lives outside of wedding planning

Despite popular belief, we don’t spend our lives laying on a fluffy pile of tulle day dreaming about wedding cakes and floral arrangements. Many planners are married themselves and have families, friends and personal “to do” lists stuck on their refrigerators! We engage in leisure activities such as working out, painting, girls nights and also need our personal down time as well. So if your planner tells you in advance what days/times she is not available, please respect it.

5. We get annoyed when you try to take over

Keep in mind you hired a planner because you don’t have the time to put into the planning because you have other areas of your life that demand attention…like work and family. Therefore, how much sense does it make for you to all of a sudden start hijacking the responsibilities you are entrusting to us? We will never make a decision without running it by you, we will always keep you informed that is our job. When you try to take over, lines of communication get crossed between us and vendors, documents or emails can get lost in translation and create more problems. Please don’t take over, it is your wedding still, we work for you!

6. We are perfectionists and control freaks (so we want your wedding to be perfect too but…)

I can’t speak for any other planners but for myself personally, that is why being a planner is so great! We can be attentive to details, cater to everyone’s needs and ensure that everything is done in a timely, organized manner. However(sigh)…there are limitations to our abilities. We can’t control everything, which includes the weather, accidents and screaming children. We also can’t make a relationship work…just putting that out there. So please don’t have that expectation, we are wedding planners, not miracle workers!

7. We appreciate being acknowledged

So often it can happen that the wedding goes smoothly, everyone is happy and married and certain agreements can be forgotten. For example, if you agreed to let your planner use pictures for her website or social media, or if you agreed to write a testimonial and never did. We don’t need you to make a huge announcement to all 200 of your guests, but if you can appreciate the work we’ve done by sticking to agreements or giving a tip or even a thank you card, it means a lot to us. If you take these 7 things into consideration, not only will planning and working together be exceptionally smooth but you may just end up with a very good friend as well. We love what we do and want to see our clients happy in all respects.