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How to avoid bride tribe drama

Published on April 3, 2019March 18, 2019 by AVPEventsLeave a comment

Choosing your bridesmaids and MOH is supposed to be the easiest part but the reality is, sometimes it doesn’t turn out the way you thought it would and there’s drama. What would cause something like this to happen and if it happens, how do you handle it?

Let’s talk prevention, this isn’t to say everything will go perfectly but a first step for you is to look at each of your potential wedding party candidates and their current lifestyles and circumstances. I guarantee taking the time to do this one thing will eliminate 60% of potential problems. Take comfort in knowing that none of your girls will turn down the opportunity to support you on your big day they love you! But it’s possible that depending what they are juggling in their personal lives can and will interfere with them living up to the expectations of their role in the bridal party. They would never do it on purpose but most of us at some point in time have bitten off more than we can chew and over-promised to someone what can or can’t take on. So, look at what they are dealing with in their lives, if any of them have circumstances that at times are all consuming, or perhaps they aren’t organized or consistent, you might want to rethink giving them a large role. Doing this from the start will help minimize potential issues tremendously.

Second step, when you finally have your bride tribe in place lay out your expectations. 9 times out of 10, miscommunication is at the root of most planning faux pas. When everyone is fully aware of and understand their responsibilities, there’s less room for error. It’s not entirely a bad idea to even sit down with all of them and work on a little timeline for example, what month you would prefer to have your bridal shower, ideas on your bachelorette- get it all out while you have everyone there. Side note: have the money talk. It might be uncomfortable but the bottom line is, being part of a wedding costs money. Be transparent about this and make sure that everyone is able and willing (yes, I said willing on purpose) to put money aside for wedding related events, trips and attire etc. If one of your girls isn’t in the position, ask them privately to let you know. You wouldn’t believe the strain money causes on friendships and bottom line, if your friend can’t pull her weight, it complicates so many things. Your other bridal party members have to pick up the financial slack, the cost of their dresses will be cause for contention- the list goes on.

Third step, try your best to spend time with your bridal party members, all of them altogether AND separately. Keep in mind, if some of your bridal party members don’t know one another, breaking the ice is a good idea. Not all personalities jive and don’t expect it from your girls and it’s okay as long as there is still respect. This is a time where you want to strengthen the bonds of your friendship and enjoy the journey of this upcoming new stage in your life. It makes them feel important and appreciated, yes this is your wedding but don’t get so caught up in the planning that you forget about the people you care about most and who are taking on a lot to support you. Do something special for each of them and do your best to always acknowledge their efforts.

Once you are engaged the next most exciting part is getting your bridal party chosen and why wouldn’t it be your nearest and dearest? It should be! But do your homework, don’t have unrealistic expectations, be transparent and spend time with them. Keep your friendship at the focal point and all of you will have a beautiful experience planning your wedding.

Black History: Wedding Traditions

Published on February 23, 2018February 23, 2018 by AVPEventsLeave a comment

In line with the celebration of culture, uniqueness and love, we decided to share some of the wedding traditions in the African American culture that are still celebrated today. Most of these are still practiced today but couples have the ability to put their own personal touch on some of them to make it more special on their big day!

Kola Nuts

Used for it’s medicinal and healing properties, this nut is important to West African weddings since it represents the families and couples willingness to heal. In some African countries this nut is shared amongst the couple and their family and that is what completes the ceremony.

Tying the Knot

A common phrase we use today when referring to a couple getting married but in African culture- it’s literally tying a knot! Some African tribes have a close friend, family member or officiant ties braided grass or piece of material around the wrists of the couple. This then symbolizes their unity and commitment to one another.

Jumping the Broom

A widely known African wedding tradition that originated in the days of slavery when slaves were forbidden to marry or live together. The broom represented all past problems that have been swept away and jumping over it symbolized publicly and formally their marital union. Today, these brooms are beautifully decorated and often displayed in the home!

Broom

Crossing Sticks

Not as well known as jumping the broom is the crossing of tall sticks between the couple. This wedding tradition also dates back as early as the slavery era. Representing the life force as well as power within the trees, when they are crossed the couple conveys their hopes for a formidable and grounded beginning.

Money Spray

Popular on the West coast of Africa but not limited to a few other cultures, the money spray is the tradition of tossing money at the bride while she dances. This is gift from the guests that help the new couple get their lives started….make it rain! (Couldn’t help it…)

Money spray

Tasting the 4 Elements

This is a ritual that originated in Yoruba that has the couple taste 4 flavors that symbolize 4 emotions in their marriage, typically bitter, hot, sour and sweet. These flavors emulate the good and the bad that may accompany marriage but ending in sweet if you endure the others.

Knock, knock

In Ghana, the groom comes bearing gifts and knocks at the door of his soon-to-be in laws since much emphasis is put on “permissions” or getting the “blessings” of the families that are being joined. If his knock is accepted, the celebration and planning for both family begins!

2018: Things you need to change ASAP

Published on January 5, 2018January 5, 2018 by AVPEvents1 Comment

A new year, new resolutions yet most of us don’t make attainable, reasonable or sustainable resolutions. Heck half the time we do it because everyone else does it- so after the hangover wears off and the holiday hours go back to normal business hours, when we are done stuffing our faces, over indulging and saying good riddance to 2017- what will you contribute to 2018? I am a large advocate of looking in the mirror and self-examination. Here are a few things you might consider as you step into a new year.

Lay off social media

Says the wedding planner who must be aware of her own social media platforms at all times. However even I “unplug” so to speak and take breaks. Why? Because it’s obvious that part of the social decay we live in right now is because social media has shredded the social fabric that makes up REAL relationships and conversations. Halt the insta-stories and snapchat and pick up the phone and call someone. Or put it down altogether and clear your head, focus on you rather than wasting time engaged in everyone else’s life- but yours!

Set boundaries

This is for your protection, not for controlling others. You can’t save the world on your own, if you suffer from FOMO- embrace the fact that you are not the end all, be all of every social situation. Don’t be afraid to say “No” when you’ve reached a limit or have too much on your plate. Set boundaries and stick to them, if you don’t then no one else will respect them either.

Ditch the sarcasm

Sure, we all like a good laugh and sarcasm usually does for us but let’s be real- sarcasm is nothing more than what you truly think but disguised as a joke when directed at someone. It’s typically not a joke and it’s not always appreciated, and some people may mistake it for insecurity and pessimism. Don’t be that person.

Cultivate generosity

Yes- the world doesn’t revolve around you. Somewhere between YOLO and taking care of oneself, we’ve forgotten how to give to others in a world that desperately needs generosity. The world tells us to take because we can, and it will even get express shipped from an Amazon drone and land on your doorstep-and that will make us happy. It won’t. Try giving and seeing the expression of gratitude on the faces of those you give too- it’s something money can’t buy.

Feel something…

Other than entitlement. Also do your best to feel your emotions and don’t run from them or distract (through binge drinking, eating, denial pick your coping mechanism) just feel them. Acknowledge that they are there, work through them (don’t become them) and as you learn to do this- you will grow. Not to mention you will develop healthier habits overall.

Adios 2017!

Published on December 22, 2017December 20, 2017 by AVPEventsLeave a comment

2017 is coming to a close and if I might say…good riddance! We want to share some of our biggest highlights from this year!

She Said Yes!

So as with most of us girl squads, mine has a Whatsapp chat called “Le Crew”. This picture message in our chat pops up after midnight on NYE Dec 31st 2016 from our bestie in Ottawa and her giant sparkling ring…announcing her amazing beau of 5 years popped the question! These two gorgeous specimens had their engagement party in October of 2017- Next stop…Dubai 2019 wedding!

Updated Website

I was so thrilled that I was able to sit down with my graphic designer and make the changes I wanted. I needed a different way to showcase some of my work rather than a boring gallery. I wanted to tell a story and make it distinctive to each couple. We added in an “as seen” section that notes all the publications we’ve been in as well as updated our available services.

Check it out!

Personal

So I moved…again. (Sigh…) Not one of the more enjoyable things I had to do this year but it had to be done. I was previously tucked away in between York Mills and Sheppard on the Yonge line and as of October this year, I am right back down in the mouth of the beast- Yonge and Bloor. The noise, smells and wind tunnels are more than enough for me to wish I was back where I was. Our place is cute and homey but the downtown insanity is exhausting to look at let alone live in. Oh well…here’s to Starbucks meetings and shopping in Yorkville?

Prince Charming proposes

By Prince we mean Prince Harry and Meghan Markle (the amazing Rachel Zane from Suits) got engaged and are to marry on May 19th 2018 at Windsor Castle…I can’t WAIT to see who designs her dress! Nothing like a Royal wedding to get us excited for a new year right? For more details see my previous blog post!

Style Shoot

Oh Elegant Wedding Magazine family, how I love you all! Some of the most hard working, talented and incredible vendors contributed to the styled shoot for the Winter/Spring 2018 issue that JUST hit the stands on December 18th 2017! Soooo go grab a copy and stay tuned for my next post that will give all the details of the shoot! Don’t forget to follow us on instagram: @avpevents

3 Major problems you may face with your Bridesmaids

Published on August 3, 2017August 3, 2017 by AVPEventsLeave a comment

One of the most memorable moments of the beginning stages of planning your wedding is asking the question to your besties “will you be my bridesmaid?” Choosing our bridal party is a big deal for so many reasons but you can and will experience some challenges in the coming months. Even though its your wedding, some bridesmaids tend to make it about them, here are some issues you may encounter and suggestions on how to handle them.

Money

You may not realize how expensive it is to be a bridesmaid but the lower end cost is just shy of $2000. Consider the expense of dresses, hair and makeup, accessories, gifts, travel and accommodations, engagement parties and showers and bachelorette parties. Some bridesmaids may have a problem with the amount of money they may have to spend depending on the “taste” of the bride but may suffer in silence, or they will complain about costs.

Solution?

Before you choose your bridal party, do your best to analyze their lifestyles, it’s a good indicator as to if they will be able to comfortably afford to really be a part of the wedding. If they have kids, or work part time it may not be feasible for them. It still doesn’t hurt to ask but perhaps when you do, let them know that if they need to decline, they can and that it won’t affect your friendship. The last thing you want is to have your friends resent you because they spent outside of their means.

Diva Syndrome

Or we also call this “planet me” syndrome. You may end up with a bridesmaid who has something to say about every little thing you ask of them to do…or wear. If you are a bride that intends to have all your party wear the same dress, she will be the one to say the color is bad on her, or it doesn’t suit her body type.

Solution?

The reality is this, it is your wedding and you may have to have a conversation with her about this. Her opinion is valued but if it’s not in sync with the plans you have, part of her job is to do things she doesn’t like. If I asked my bridesmaids to wear a paper bag with a plaid design finger painted by my 5-year-old nephew- they would wear them! You want people in your party who support you, not fight you on everything during the planning process.

Complete takeover

Its amazing that you have incredible friends who want to help you plan your big day but taking over when they haven’t been asked or assigned to anything will be stressful. They may start telling you what to do or how to do it or even what you will want to do! This can get overwhelming quickly if you don’t handle it right away.

Solution?

Calmly thank them for all their suggestions and eagerness to help but then let them know, you would prefer not to get ahead of yourself and still need to time to discuss with your fiancé certain elements of the wedding. You may even tell her you haven’t had the opportunity to think about those aspects yet and would like to wait until you have a clearer idea as to what you want.

Feature image via etsy

Blog images via @robynsrussell www.robynsrussell.com Sasha & Jared 2017

Real Couples: With big wedding day regrets

Published on January 9, 2017January 9, 2017 by AVPEventsLeave a comment

No, we aren’t talking about who they regret marrying! As couples did their own wedding planning with the help of friends or family- post wedding? Some share with us what they would have done differently.

“When we got married the only thing I wish I could have changed was our first dance song. I also realize we should have gotten married in Ontario instead of Quebec because in Quebec the woman doesn’t take her new husbands last name.”-James

“I somewhat regret not listening to my Mom when she suggested we should take some more time for photos (just the two of us).”– Natasha

“I should have requested that the camera was to stay on the entire night, instead someone shut it off after the ceremony and it was never turned back on. The speeches and everything during the night was not recorded and that was important to me.”-Jessica

“Number 1: Review that guest list 100 times and make sure whoever is at the door has the most updated one (especially if it’s a big wedding like ours was). Number 2: Designate someone to assist the photographer if you have a big family and a big bridal party. Or else Uncle “I-Don’t-Know-You” will photo bomb all your shots. Number 3: Review the songs you want played at key moments with your DJ. Nobody wants “Baby Got Back” for the groom and mother dance (unless that’s the plan?).”– Mike

“I wish I hadn’t stressed so much about the little details that no one else would even notice or remember. I regret putting money towards ‘things’ instead of towards more people being able to attend.”-Corinne

“We shouldn’t have cheaped out on the photographer, they say you get what you pay for and it’s true!”-Kim

Top 10 Must See Wedding Movies

Published on November 24, 2016November 24, 2016 by AVPEventsLeave a comment

Nothing beats a romantic-comedy about a wedding, a wedding disaster you name it. We’ve listed our top 10 wedding movies of all time. See how many you’ve yet to see and have the girls over and break out the wine!

My Best Friend’s Wedding

As children, Julianne and Michael made a vow to marry one another if they were still single at 28. Four days before her birthday, Michael announces he’s getting married to 20 year old Kimberly. Suddenly realizing she’s in love with Michael, Julianne vows to halt the wedding no matter the cost- that is until she’s asked to be Maid of Honor…awkward much?

The Best Man

Committed bachelor Harper, just wrote a soon to be best selling novel that is for the most part based on the lives and loves of his group of tight-knit friends. With his entire crew to be present, Harper is to be the best man in his friend Lance’s wedding. To his dismay, an advance copy of the book ends up in the hands of an ex flame and he struggles to keep it under wraps- til he can’t.

Runaway Bride

Maggie Carpenter is no stranger to a wedding day since she’s left 3 men at the altar thus far. Ike Graham a reporter from the big city branded her “the runaway bride” and after his facts are questioned, he heads to her hometown to report on her upcoming fourth wedding- and to save his rep; til he falls for her.

The Wedding Planner

The wedding of Internet tycoon Fran Donelly is the biggest and most ostentatious of Mary’s wedding planning career. After being rescued from a near-fatal collision with a runaway dumpster by Steve Edison and spending the most enchanting evening of their lives together, Mary thinks she’s finally found a reason to believe in love. Until she realizes that cupid and her career are about to collide head-on.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

The entire Portokalos family worries about Toula who’s still unmarried at 30 years old. she works at the Greek family restaurant Dancing Zorba’s, owned by her parents, Gus and Maria. After taking a job at her aunt’s travel agency, she falls in love with Ian Miller, a handsome teacher who is tall, and definitely not Greek. Toula isn’t sure which will be more upsetting to her father, that Ian is a foreigner or that he’s a vegetarian.

Wedding Crashers

Jeremy and John are divorce mediators who spend their free time crashing wedding receptions. So when Secretary of the Treasury William Cleary announces the wedding of his eldest daughter, they make it their mission to crash the high-profile event. But their game hits a bump in the road when John locks eyes with bridesmaid Claire taking them on a hilarious journey with a family that’s less than functional.

Monster In Law

Charlotte meets and falls for Dr. Kevin Fields, it’s a whirlwind romance. When Kevin pops the question so soon after they start dating, Charlotte happily accepts. She soon realizes that Kevin’s mom, Viola is anything but thrilled to have a new family member. Viola, a newscaster, has just lost her job and is feeling rather possessive of Kevin, so Charlotte is sheer competition.

27 Dresses

Forever bridesmaid Jane is the go-to gal whenever someone needs help with wedding plans since she can’t say no. So when Jane’s younger sister Tess hooks the man Jane is secretly in love with, Jane finds herself questioning her role as a wedding junkie for the first time. Meanwhile, a handsome reporter is on Jane’s unusual story.

Bride Wars

As little girls, best friends Liv and Emma started planning every detail of their future weddings, including choosing the same venue: New York’s famed Plaza Hotel. But when a clerical error causes a dilemma in wedding dates, a war begins that reveals and unravels Liv and Kate discover their inner demons which may end their lifelong friendship.

Bridesmaids

Annie is a single woman whose life is a hot mess, but when her lifelong best friend, Lillian, gets engaged, she has no choice but to serve as the maid of honor. Though loveless and almost broke, Annie, nevertheless, fights her way through the awkward and expensive rituals associated with her job as the bride’s go-to gal. That is, until things start to unravel and Annie takes everyone down with her.

10 awful mistakes brides make

Published on September 1, 2016May 3, 2018 by AVPEventsLeave a comment

No wedding day is completely perfect (unless it is) and there are bound to be some flubs or forgotten details. Here are 10 common mistakes brides make leading up to and on their wedding day:

Don’t carve out enough time for hair and makeup

It is imperative that you consider how large your bridal party is, this should include your mother and mother in law and any flower girls you may have. If you have more than 4 ladies to do hair and makeup for, you should consider hiring two makeup artists and two hair stylists. Make sure they have both met, have pictures of the makeup and hair looks so they can get everyone done on time!

Drink the night before

Try to refrain from excessive drinking the night before the wedding. Alcohol can make you puffy the next day, if you are sensitive you may even get a mild headache. Trade in a cocktail or glass of wine with some sparkling water and lemon, you’ll thank us.

Rule out a wedding planner

Even if you have managed to plan everything yourself, the week before your wedding is the most stressful. If you had hired a planner for the week of you could have been spending time with your family and friends. Instead, you are left running around keeping track of final payments to vendors, confirming floral deliveries, giving directions…need I continue? Hire a planner.

Don’t account for hidden costs

This is a big one that gets overlooked far too often. Tipping your vendors is a must unless it’s already included in their contract. Also ensuring they are fed at dinner time if they are present is also important. Marriage license is another hidden cost, postage for “Thank you” cards, meals on wedding day and then there is the “other” category. This is for when the power goes out and you have to buy 200 candles, or the groom forgets to pack his shoes and needs to hail a cab!

Take time with parents

The day of your wedding you are the center of attention and everyone wants to say a word or give a hug. Don’t forget to take a few quiet moments with your parents outside of pictures. It will be a welcome break from the hustle and bustle and it will give you some one on one time with them, they will appreciate it.

6. You forget to eat

Yes, we know you need to fit into your wedding dress as snug as a bug the day of, however, we don’t need a dramatic Scarlett O’Hara fainting moment because you didn’t eat anything. A light breakfast with a few carbs for energy is suffice, lots of water and some snacks while getting ready and during pictures.

Sunless tanning

Have some practice sessions please! I can’t stress this enough. Sunless tanning can work if you find the right place to go. Be sure to go for a shade that isn’t so far off your natural skin tone, aim for a pre- wedding glow. If you overdo it or go too dark…you will be in your bathroom 2 days before your wedding with half a cup of lemon juice, a quarter cup of sugar…and a loofah sponge.

Don’t feed vendors

Your vendors work hard and rightly so; this is what they do! However, if you have hired a band to entertain your guests, a planner running around behind the scenes, a photographer or videographer- they need to eat. This is customary and likely in the contract you signed when you hired them. Perhaps not what the guests are eating but feed them with something!

Skimp on bridal party gifts

Take into consideration your bridal party (guys too) have spend a ton of money over the past year or so helping you plan your wedding. From wedding gifts, bachelor/bachelorette parties, outfits, dinners, to helping you solve problems, they’ve done so much. Be sure to budget a decent amount (consider how large your bridal party is) so they can feel the love and appreciation you have for all they have done.

Mistreat Single friends

I’ve been one of the single gals at a table, where I don’t know anyone and most of the people I am sitting with are couples. Thankfully I have an outgoing personality and I can talk to anyone but not all your guests are going to find this situation ideal. To ease the pressure or even nerves, try to put them with at least one person at the same table that they know. Please, please have mercy!

AVPEvents on the worst marriage advice we’ve ever heard from real couples

Published on July 5, 2016 by AVPEventsLeave a comment

I thought this would be an interesting blog post because most of us would expect our friends and loved ones to give us some helpful marriage counsel. Recently I asked a handful of my married friends, what was the absolute worst marriage advice they ever got.

At first I was shocked at some of it but then I realized it shouldn’t be so surprising since we live in a society that hardly values the sanctity of marriage. Here is what some of them said:

“To walk away when things get tough…but we made vows for a reason!”– Mariah & LeRon

“I’ve had some rough go’s and hard times but have also had some great times, worst thing I was ever told was to suck it up for the kids.” Jake & Ashley

“My husband got the advice: Tell your wife her cooking is good, even when it isn’t! I don’t know how many stir fry and quiches my husband choked down before he told me he didn’t like them. So frustrating, I want to make meals we like and improve on them!”– Jennifer & Andrew

Poor guy!

“Have babies, they will solve your problems and make your marriage happier…shouldn’t the marriage be happy first?” Leigha & Greg

“Happy wife, happy life. What about my husbands needs?! I want him to talk to me and tell me what makes him happy or what bothers him.”– Megan & Dustin

“Don’t get fat…”– Sarah & Zach

Hopefully that person got a big 2000 piece of cake in the face!

“Everything is 50/50…no its 100/100! If you are only putting in half the work then expect a half-assed marriage.”– Erica & Scott

Here is our personal favorite:

“Don’t compromise most marriages end in divorce anyway.”– Pamela & Adam

Moral of the story: marriage is what you decide to make it, good or bad advice no one is in the relationship but you. It’s a good idea to keep as much of your marriage between just the two of you to ensure less people are involved in giving their opinion. While we appreciate our friends and family, we also want to remain keenly aware that their own experiences can bias the advice they give. Keep those who support your marriage close to you and remember to consider one another always.