How to be a Maid of Honor…for dummies

It’s difficult but I have to accept the fact that there are some women out there who have no idea what it means to be a maid of honor, not even an instinct on what to do. Though this drives me batty, I find it necessary to discuss some basics for those women who are freshly selected to be maid of honor but don’t know what it entails!

Be the bride’s right hand woman…24/7

Bad-Wedding-Photo-Shaving-Arm-PitYes! I mean literally 24/7- in the middle of your work day you read her 8 Facebook private message breakdowns, you chase after the venue coordinator when she doesn’t have time too and you call the baker and put in that cake order if she forgets. You listen to her 3 hour rant about the troublesome bridesmaid; you give her advice on why her changing her mind for the 14th time about the décor theme is a good idea. Whatever she can’t do, can’t handle, forgets, doesn’t have time to do or doesn’t want to do…you do. Why? Because you are her #1, in fact she has asked you to be her #1 support throughout the planning process, so embrace it. Become one with being her #1.

Standing up for the brides marriage

lovelyIt’s humbling to be asked to be someone’s MOH for their wedding and this is usually a good indication that you and the bride are extremely close, perhaps even related. But being a MOH isn’t just about helping to plan and support the bride during planning the wedding, it also involves you supporting her marriage. Now some people say “Of course I support her marriage” until you get a call 4 years later from her, saying she is fed up and she’s done and wants a divorce. Marriage takes work, constant work and they vowed for good AND bad until death. Are you going to be that person who encourages her and reminds her of the good and why she loves her husband or will you jump on the “get a divorce and don’t deal with it” wagon? I am not at all saying ignore her if she is miserable, but as part of her bridal party you are promising the couple that you will support them in their marriage until someone dies.

Planning the bridal shower/bachelorette party

Bachelorette-Party-Ideas-2010-06-04-151504I can’t be clearer, this is your job MOH’s… this is the best part of the wedding planning process for you girls! I mean, after all the stress, the panic, the up and down’s and that crazy photographer…you girls need to let loose, bond and have a good time! After the engagement, these are the most important events during the wedding planning process and the MOH is usually the one who plans them. The bridesmaids will be looking to you for a plan. Here is a piece of advice…if you don’t have a creative bone in your body, or no desires to plan it- ask the bride what she wants. Once the bride gives you an initial idea, take it and go to your bridesmaids…one of them is bound to be bursting with ideas. Be honest with the bride and bridesmaids…you have no idea what to do. Once you do this, others will step in to help, do this not and the bridal party will start to get antsy. When in doubt? Google. The more time there is to plan or deal with potential obstacles, the better.

Now the MOH has plenty more responsibilities on the day of the wedding but I will save that for another post. Hopefully this has been somewhat helpful to those of you who’ve been recently crowned as the “unstoppable, indestructible” maid of honor. You know the bride best and take comfort in knowing she needs and depends on you to be her right arm so have confidence and have fun!

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