Bridesmaids – AVPEvents Blog

How to avoid bride tribe drama

Published on April 3, 2019March 18, 2019 by AVPEventsLeave a comment

Choosing your bridesmaids and MOH is supposed to be the easiest part but the reality is, sometimes it doesn’t turn out the way you thought it would and there’s drama. What would cause something like this to happen and if it happens, how do you handle it?

Let’s talk prevention, this isn’t to say everything will go perfectly but a first step for you is to look at each of your potential wedding party candidates and their current lifestyles and circumstances. I guarantee taking the time to do this one thing will eliminate 60% of potential problems. Take comfort in knowing that none of your girls will turn down the opportunity to support you on your big day they love you! But it’s possible that depending what they are juggling in their personal lives can and will interfere with them living up to the expectations of their role in the bridal party. They would never do it on purpose but most of us at some point in time have bitten off more than we can chew and over-promised to someone what can or can’t take on. So, look at what they are dealing with in their lives, if any of them have circumstances that at times are all consuming, or perhaps they aren’t organized or consistent, you might want to rethink giving them a large role. Doing this from the start will help minimize potential issues tremendously.

Second step, when you finally have your bride tribe in place lay out your expectations. 9 times out of 10, miscommunication is at the root of most planning faux pas. When everyone is fully aware of and understand their responsibilities, there’s less room for error. It’s not entirely a bad idea to even sit down with all of them and work on a little timeline for example, what month you would prefer to have your bridal shower, ideas on your bachelorette- get it all out while you have everyone there. Side note: have the money talk. It might be uncomfortable but the bottom line is, being part of a wedding costs money. Be transparent about this and make sure that everyone is able and willing (yes, I said willing on purpose) to put money aside for wedding related events, trips and attire etc. If one of your girls isn’t in the position, ask them privately to let you know. You wouldn’t believe the strain money causes on friendships and bottom line, if your friend can’t pull her weight, it complicates so many things. Your other bridal party members have to pick up the financial slack, the cost of their dresses will be cause for contention- the list goes on.

Third step, try your best to spend time with your bridal party members, all of them altogether AND separately. Keep in mind, if some of your bridal party members don’t know one another, breaking the ice is a good idea. Not all personalities jive and don’t expect it from your girls and it’s okay as long as there is still respect. This is a time where you want to strengthen the bonds of your friendship and enjoy the journey of this upcoming new stage in your life. It makes them feel important and appreciated, yes this is your wedding but don’t get so caught up in the planning that you forget about the people you care about most and who are taking on a lot to support you. Do something special for each of them and do your best to always acknowledge their efforts.

Once you are engaged the next most exciting part is getting your bridal party chosen and why wouldn’t it be your nearest and dearest? It should be! But do your homework, don’t have unrealistic expectations, be transparent and spend time with them. Keep your friendship at the focal point and all of you will have a beautiful experience planning your wedding.

Black Friday Deals…for Brides!

Published on November 23, 2017November 23, 2017 by AVPEventsLeave a comment

Black Friday is here and it’s not just about scoring a new tv or bed, this is the time of year to knock a few things of your wedding to do list…and maybe save while you’re at it? Yes!

Favors

This is one of the best times to buy in bulk if possible. Department stores like Target, Walmart will have non-perishable favors like sunglasses (beach), tea cups/mugs (winter), passport holders (destination). Once you have them all you can customize them with tags or pretty packaging.

Shoes

Who doesn’t love a good shoe deal? Have a style and height in mind, comfort will be key so don’t impulse purchase. Trying them on and doing a walk through of the store is important, make sure nothing pinches or is too tight. Be sure to ask about the store return policy if exchanges are permitted and keep your receipt and original packaging!

Le Dress

This might require a bit of digging but start off with your local bridal shop and see if they have any trunk shows to clear out older inventory. If you’ve been checking the price tag of one particular dress; you won’t get it at a lower price before it gets redistributed. This could be the opportunity to fine “the dress”.

Accessories/Jewelry

Another no brainer. As with shoes, there is always a hygiene issue with earrings so before you buy, get the return policy information. If you scored shoes then look for hair pieces, necklaces and earrings that will compliment them. If you ended up with a dress or already have one, be sure to consider the neckline and how you will wear your hair. Generally, if you have a higher neckline, a necklace might be too much but some longer earrings could work.

Bridal Party Attire

Welp! Black Friday bridesmaid dresses won’t get better than this! What more could you want? Girls day, shopping, saving money and ticking this off your to do list! Be sure to have everyone’s measurements and be ready to buy if the right opportunity comes along that fits the criteria you are looking for! One last time…check the return/exchange policy and make sure you keep those receipts!

With a bit of advance research, this year’s Black Friday can be unbelievably productive for any soon to be bride!

3 Major problems you may face with your Bridesmaids

Published on August 3, 2017August 3, 2017 by AVPEventsLeave a comment

One of the most memorable moments of the beginning stages of planning your wedding is asking the question to your besties “will you be my bridesmaid?” Choosing our bridal party is a big deal for so many reasons but you can and will experience some challenges in the coming months. Even though its your wedding, some bridesmaids tend to make it about them, here are some issues you may encounter and suggestions on how to handle them.

Money

You may not realize how expensive it is to be a bridesmaid but the lower end cost is just shy of $2000. Consider the expense of dresses, hair and makeup, accessories, gifts, travel and accommodations, engagement parties and showers and bachelorette parties. Some bridesmaids may have a problem with the amount of money they may have to spend depending on the “taste” of the bride but may suffer in silence, or they will complain about costs.

Solution?

Before you choose your bridal party, do your best to analyze their lifestyles, it’s a good indicator as to if they will be able to comfortably afford to really be a part of the wedding. If they have kids, or work part time it may not be feasible for them. It still doesn’t hurt to ask but perhaps when you do, let them know that if they need to decline, they can and that it won’t affect your friendship. The last thing you want is to have your friends resent you because they spent outside of their means.

Diva Syndrome

Or we also call this “planet me” syndrome. You may end up with a bridesmaid who has something to say about every little thing you ask of them to do…or wear. If you are a bride that intends to have all your party wear the same dress, she will be the one to say the color is bad on her, or it doesn’t suit her body type.

Solution?

The reality is this, it is your wedding and you may have to have a conversation with her about this. Her opinion is valued but if it’s not in sync with the plans you have, part of her job is to do things she doesn’t like. If I asked my bridesmaids to wear a paper bag with a plaid design finger painted by my 5-year-old nephew- they would wear them! You want people in your party who support you, not fight you on everything during the planning process.

Complete takeover

Its amazing that you have incredible friends who want to help you plan your big day but taking over when they haven’t been asked or assigned to anything will be stressful. They may start telling you what to do or how to do it or even what you will want to do! This can get overwhelming quickly if you don’t handle it right away.

Solution?

Calmly thank them for all their suggestions and eagerness to help but then let them know, you would prefer not to get ahead of yourself and still need to time to discuss with your fiancé certain elements of the wedding. You may even tell her you haven’t had the opportunity to think about those aspects yet and would like to wait until you have a clearer idea as to what you want.

Feature image via etsy

Blog images via @robynsrussell www.robynsrussell.com Sasha & Jared 2017

Top 10 Must See Wedding Movies

Published on November 24, 2016November 24, 2016 by AVPEventsLeave a comment

Nothing beats a romantic-comedy about a wedding, a wedding disaster you name it. We’ve listed our top 10 wedding movies of all time. See how many you’ve yet to see and have the girls over and break out the wine!

My Best Friend’s Wedding

As children, Julianne and Michael made a vow to marry one another if they were still single at 28. Four days before her birthday, Michael announces he’s getting married to 20 year old Kimberly. Suddenly realizing she’s in love with Michael, Julianne vows to halt the wedding no matter the cost- that is until she’s asked to be Maid of Honor…awkward much?

The Best Man

Committed bachelor Harper, just wrote a soon to be best selling novel that is for the most part based on the lives and loves of his group of tight-knit friends. With his entire crew to be present, Harper is to be the best man in his friend Lance’s wedding. To his dismay, an advance copy of the book ends up in the hands of an ex flame and he struggles to keep it under wraps- til he can’t.

Runaway Bride

Maggie Carpenter is no stranger to a wedding day since she’s left 3 men at the altar thus far. Ike Graham a reporter from the big city branded her “the runaway bride” and after his facts are questioned, he heads to her hometown to report on her upcoming fourth wedding- and to save his rep; til he falls for her.

The Wedding Planner

The wedding of Internet tycoon Fran Donelly is the biggest and most ostentatious of Mary’s wedding planning career. After being rescued from a near-fatal collision with a runaway dumpster by Steve Edison and spending the most enchanting evening of their lives together, Mary thinks she’s finally found a reason to believe in love. Until she realizes that cupid and her career are about to collide head-on.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

The entire Portokalos family worries about Toula who’s still unmarried at 30 years old. she works at the Greek family restaurant Dancing Zorba’s, owned by her parents, Gus and Maria. After taking a job at her aunt’s travel agency, she falls in love with Ian Miller, a handsome teacher who is tall, and definitely not Greek. Toula isn’t sure which will be more upsetting to her father, that Ian is a foreigner or that he’s a vegetarian.

Wedding Crashers

Jeremy and John are divorce mediators who spend their free time crashing wedding receptions. So when Secretary of the Treasury William Cleary announces the wedding of his eldest daughter, they make it their mission to crash the high-profile event. But their game hits a bump in the road when John locks eyes with bridesmaid Claire taking them on a hilarious journey with a family that’s less than functional.

Monster In Law

Charlotte meets and falls for Dr. Kevin Fields, it’s a whirlwind romance. When Kevin pops the question so soon after they start dating, Charlotte happily accepts. She soon realizes that Kevin’s mom, Viola is anything but thrilled to have a new family member. Viola, a newscaster, has just lost her job and is feeling rather possessive of Kevin, so Charlotte is sheer competition.

27 Dresses

Forever bridesmaid Jane is the go-to gal whenever someone needs help with wedding plans since she can’t say no. So when Jane’s younger sister Tess hooks the man Jane is secretly in love with, Jane finds herself questioning her role as a wedding junkie for the first time. Meanwhile, a handsome reporter is on Jane’s unusual story.

Bride Wars

As little girls, best friends Liv and Emma started planning every detail of their future weddings, including choosing the same venue: New York’s famed Plaza Hotel. But when a clerical error causes a dilemma in wedding dates, a war begins that reveals and unravels Liv and Kate discover their inner demons which may end their lifelong friendship.

Bridesmaids

Annie is a single woman whose life is a hot mess, but when her lifelong best friend, Lillian, gets engaged, she has no choice but to serve as the maid of honor. Though loveless and almost broke, Annie, nevertheless, fights her way through the awkward and expensive rituals associated with her job as the bride’s go-to gal. That is, until things start to unravel and Annie takes everyone down with her.

Brides: 5 instances you don’t want to post on social media

Published on June 16, 2015June 16, 2015 by AVPEventsLeave a comment

Seems like social media is everywhere and everyone is on at least one or even multiple platforms. It’s a fantastic tool for business marketing; it enables people to maintain long distance relationships with friends and family. It’s also the main plug to filling people in about what is happening during your wedding planning process! Updating everyone on the venue choice; asking for advice on any recommended catering companies or getting other helpful suggestions. However here are 5 instances you should not broadcast across social media…ever.

Dress Fittings

Under no circumstances should anyone besides your bridal party see your dress. Once a picture goes up anyone can “share, repost, regram, retweet” it. Before you know it, your entire guest list and Google has seen your dress, the 8 layers of tulle and the 5 glasses of champagne you’ve each consumed. So if you don’t want to completely ruin the headliner…hijack everyone’s phones until you are done your fitting.

Registry Information

Tacky, tacky tacky! And it’s not exactly going to give you points in the humility department. The good news is you have a few options! Despite popular beliefs, putting registry info on the invites takes away from focusing on your guests. However, you can get “we are registered at” cards to include with the invites; or you can have an online registry! Another idea is to put it on your bridal shower invites since it goes hand in hand or if you create a wedding website you can include the information there…not on Twitter!

Planning Blunders

Let’s face it, planning never goes as smoothly as you will expect and when a mishap occurs, blasting your negative experience on Facebook is distasteful. Talk about it with friends or family over dinner or cocktails, but to have a massive rant across social media means unnecessary opinions, drama, and unwanted/unsolicited advice.

Wardrobe Malfunctions and TMI moments

Even though it may be hilarious in the moment to everyone who witnesses it but it’s not funny for the person it happens too. This includes the bridal party and the bride…an expensive dress tearing or helping the bride hold her dress up while she uses the washroom? Not so much. Not polite, lacks discretion and respect.

5. Wedding Night

This should be self explanatory but I’ve included it just in case. Besides the fact that you will most likely pass out half dressed in an awkward position from exhaustion we don’t need to know! Keep the selfies for the honey moon or the morning after brunch!

How to choose your bridal party

Published on June 9, 2015June 9, 2015 by AVPEventsLeave a comment

Your wedding day is the one thing you thought about as a little girl all the way up until now. The most important task for you to tackle shortly after engagement is to choose your bridal party. This can be a daunting task since you have a lot of friends, plus family- it can be very difficult to decide. Here are a few tips and reminders that may assist you during the process.

Long lost friends

You may have promised her back in the third grade that she would be your maid of honor but the last time you spoke to her was when you graduated high school. Thinking practically here, besides your heartfelt promise, there are many things to consider in this instance. You need someone who knows you inside and out to be your maid of honor and chances are you’ve changed since high school. You also need someone who knows your fiance and family well in order to help keep things together. She may live far away or have a family of her own, you don’t know her circumstances. If you haven’t been in touch for years, it may not be a wise choice.

Siblings

I’ve seen it work out in the past where sisters have been in the bridal party and usually things turn out wonderfully! The best advice I can give here is that if you and your sister do not have a great relationship, it may be prudent to have them take on another role. I say this because in some situations you don’t want to be dealing with temper tantrums about the bridesmaid dress, or that they want their hair different or are just overall unreasonable. It can happen, it will cause dissension within your family if she complains and it will slow things down! Just a heads up!

Friends who live far away

Don’t get me wrong, it can be done but only if the friend is really genuine and dedicated to traveling in order to help plan. It might make more sense to have them as a bridesmaid rather than a maid of honor since its less responsibility. There are several ways to make this a little bit easier for example: Skype sessions! You can also create a group or page on Facebook where you can all post pictures of dresses and give input on important things like the bachelorette! Make it a priority to discuss the uncomfortable subject of money as they will not only be paying for their dress and contributing to functions surrounding the wedding but travel expenses as well. If they cannot afford to be that involved then you may have to reconsider.

Friends who are happy for you…

Ohhh yes…not everyone wants to see you happy, true fact please accept it. For various reasons such as unhappily married and they have to watch you be deliriously happy. Not married and everyone around is and they feel like the last woman standing. Trying circumstances in their lives and they can’t give you the emotional support you need. Either way they are miserable and are not trying to hide it. Do you really want a “Debbie downer” to be in the bridal party raining on your sunshine? It can really affect your outlook on impending marriage, create tension between you or worse, make you second guess marriage altogether.

Ultimately, whomever you choose to be in your bridal party must understand what it means in its entirety. It’s not just about organizing, dress shopping and parties, they are also making a commitment. They are promising that as they stand at the altar with you that they will help to support your marriage through good and bad as well. So be sure to ask friends and family who won’t be quick to suggest “divorce” or antagonize a situation but be there to offer wisdom and encouragement.

Successfully choose the perfect Bridesmaid dress

Published on March 18, 2015March 25, 2015 by AVPEvents1 Comment

Hunting for the perfect bridesmaid dress can be so much fun for a bride and her bridal party in many ways or it can be a nightmare. It really depends on the type of bride you have, what her vision is and how flexible she is. Some brides give their bridal party the exact color and tell them to find whatever they want. Other brides give a color and perhaps a length specification and then tell them to go on the search. Then you have those brides who know the color, style, length, accessories and don’t allow their bridesmaids to have any say at all. With so many variables, it can be difficult to determine where to start this process. Here are some helpful tips to make it a bit smoother and fun!

Plan a bridal party night

Get together with the bride, maid of honor and bridesmaids, have some wine, everyone bring a magazine and have a great playlist ready! This kills a couple birds with one stone. If your bridal party doesn’t know each other, this is a great bonding opportunity. You can all openly discuss everything from styles to colors and come to a happy medium.

Talk Budget

This can be daunting as money is always an uncomfortable discussion to have with anyone, but the one person who needs to know your budget is the bride. This may be something that the bride will most likely have to initiate with each of her bridesmaids. Have a very honest and frank conversation with her about a budget you are comfortable with. Ultimately this will give the bride the ability to come up with a maximum budget that works for everyone so that no one is strained financially.

Keep in mind body type

Here is where it can get tricky if your bride isn’t open to many suggestions, not the ideal situation but it happens. In a perfect world if the whole bridal party has the same body shape, then the same style of dress will work for everyone. But women come in various shapes, sizes and heights so it is unlikely that the same style of dress will suit a woman who is 5’11 with long legs versus a woman who is perhaps heavier set and very curvy. Doing some research surrounding what dress styles match specific body types will really make the bridal party feel like they are cared about.

Set a “lock in” date

One last but very important aspect of hunting for the perfect bridesmaid dress is to set in a “lock in” date with the girls. It means exactly what it implies, when the date arrives it’s “locked in” and no more changes are then made. Lock in dates, are put into place to keep the flow of productivity consistent so time isn’t wasted. As that date approaches, finalize the dresses and ensure your finances are in order to put down at least 20%. When the lock in date arrives- no more changes can be made, the dresses are ordered and that is that.

Team work, openness and compromise are the keys to finding great dresses, bonding with your bridal party and having fun during the planning process. Don’t forget the most important aspect is that your friendships are important and still need to be nurtured to ensure you will have supportive friends throughout your upcoming marriage!

Photos provided by: Weddingbee.com, SocietyBride.com and WeddingIdeasMag.com

Bridesmaid takeover or takedown?

Published on February 9, 2015February 9, 2015 by AVPEventsLeave a comment

As a wedding planner you deal with many different personalities and a TON of women…and as a woman, you know what women are like. Aside from potentially having a “bridezilla” or a “mother of the bridezilla”, you can end up with bridesmaids who think they run the show on the wedding day.

Now of course, it’s natural a bridesmaid wants her bestie to have a perfect wedding, who wouldn’t want everything to run perfectly? Here is the thing- it never does. Not even the best of the best planners can prevent the best man from getting food poisoning the night before. There are things we just cannot control and as difficult as it is- we have to accept it.

That being said, having a bossy bridesmaid can be an added stress to any planner or bride, though it’s wise to anticipate it. The tricky part is handling it in a professional manner that will not backfire. The last thing a planner wants is to have to talk with her and then have the bride return to you with a different story. At the end of the day, planners are there to make things run smoothly so everyone enjoys themselves as much as possible. But what to do when a bridesmaid attempts to take over on the day of the wedding?

Prepare in advance, and have something for her to be in charge of and for only her to do. This way you are killing several birds with one stone. By giving her a task (and make sure it’s a lengthy one or an ongoing one) it will keep her occupied, while making her feel helpful and minimizing your stress all at once. Yes, you will have a team there who is more than capable of looking after everything but no one needs a bridesmaid coming into the kitchen and barking at the catering staff while you are dealing with a wardrobe malfunction with the bride.

On the more “preventive” side of things, have a chat with the entire bridal party at the rehearsal dinner. This way you can voice your expectations of them and let them know that unless their assistance is solicited by you, all they need to do is enjoy themselves. Reassure them that you have plenty of experience and you have everything covered so they can help by making memories with the bride and groom.