4 Ways to mortify your wedding guests

We are not foolish enough to think that your wedding day will be completely flawless; you are bound to run into a snag here or there. However, there are a few things that can really upset your guests on your special day. Now, keeping in mind that you cannot please everyone, these 4 grievances go across the entire spectrum of your guest list and for the most part can be prevented…pay attention couples!

  1. Omitting Important Information

Nothing is more disrespectful than not informing your guests of things they will have to pay for dinner and or drinks at your wedding. If dinner is a 4 course meal that is not being covered by the bride and groom but only the wine, you need to indicate this clearly on the invitations you send out. These meals can be very expensive and if most of your guests are married, that means two meals will need to be paid for at the same price! Likewise, if you intend to have a cash bar and do not tell your guests in advance, you will have a lot of people unprepared and upset.

  1. Preparation for outdoor ceremonies and pictures

Rain or shine, the ceremony will go on! Keeping close tabs on the weather will be 0921-04_wedding_horror_story_unhappy_guests_liimportant right up until the morning of the wedding. Aside from wanting to avoid a soggy bride in a ruined white dress, you have guests to think of. It may be a good idea to indicate on the invite for people to bring umbrellas just in case while you supply some cute fans in case it gets hot! Overcooked or damp guests in silk dresses and black suits aren’t a pretty sight, nor is it comfortable for them. Those are the clothes they have to wear for the duration of the wedding celebration. So take into consideration the weather and prepare them or be prepared for them!

3.  One of the most frustrating problems for a guest to face and have to solve it quickly is the issue of accessible transportation and or parking. If the wedding takes place in the city and guests plan to drink, they may opt to take public transit. This becomes problematic if the wedding venue is located in a remote area or where multiple lines of transit need to be taken. Try to have an “easy access” venue for the sake of your guests. Likewise, for those who are driving, they need to find parking and know how to pay for it without hassles. Driving up and down the 5 blocks surrounding the venue is tiresome and agitating. Have mercy…when considering you venue, ask about public transit and parking spaces and then inform your RSVP’s.

  1. Bad Dinner Experience

miseryNot that everyone goes to the wedding for the food but let’s face it, dinner is definitely a subject of discussion after a wedding. Now not everything can be controlled or timed perfectly and most wedding guests who have been to weddings know this. However, a friend of mine did a wedding earlier this year and the dinner was a disaster. Firstly, the head table missed their cue to go to the food stations to get their dinner. That held up the other 12 tables, the MC then started asking tables by number to go up…massive mistake as the head table had not gone yet! To make it worse there were no servers at the food stations to ensure everyone essentially received equal portions. This resulted in the last 2-3 tables almost not getting any dinner because the tables before them were greedy and didn’t consider anyone else. Upset, hungry guests? Absolutely! There had been plenty of food but the catering staff didn’t control the stations…disaster. Ensure your catering company has a plan of execution and that everyone knows where they are to be and what their responsibilities are.

So if the flower girl screams the whole walk down the aisle or someone’s watch gets dropped in the toilet…not much you can do. But ensuring that your guests have been well informed in advance and have been considered in these areas will surely have them buzzing with excitement well after your big day!

Beyond Bridzilla…

We’ve all had them, we all expect them; it’s part of the job as being a wedding planner. We are to anticipate the possibility of a once sweet, calm “I just want to keep it simple” bride transforming into the overly stressed “ I want the shoes, purses, accessories, nails, flowers, dresses and mascara…to be the EXACT SAME”. However, you may also run into what I refer too as the “bridal party/family-gong show” and yes it’s as intense as it sounds.stressed-bride2
This situation extends far past the bride and may include but not be limited too: The mother of the bride, the soon to be mother in law, a bridesmaid or all bridesmaids, maid of honor, sisters, aunts….the smurfs! I know it sounds extreme however, weddings are a very “female dominated” event and when many women get together or need to work together things can become problematic. I say this with love and empathy to all my fellow women out there…we can’t deny that there is a little part in all of us that likes to have things our way. Period! However, it can be stressful the bride to listen to and attempt to please everyone.

Additions to guest lists, changes to bridesmaid’s dresses, who is doing the wedding shower, switching caterer’s among many other things could be subject to change. Sometimes these changes are suggested, in some cases disputed, demanded or even expected. The most difficult aspect can be that these instances occur from the people closest to the bride and groom. Dissention is ill-advised as much as possible for many reasons: maintaining of relationships, to ensure planning can continue smoothly and it’s to everyone’s benefit that the bride and groom are happy. Still, sometimes things are called to question and a decision needs to be made and it is our job as the planner to help the bride and groom come to the best possible choice for them.
Despite the wants, opinions, demands and potential “tantrums” of others, I advise you to keep the following in mind:

1) The timeline discussed between yourself and your clients. The moment a date to wed is decided upon between the bride and groom- planning begins starting with your budget. You will assist them in setting “lock in” dates for securing the venue, purchasing the dress, finalizing the guest list etc . Once the “lock in” dates have passed… it is not recommended that additional changes be made since this could cause potential delays and more work and in some cases stress for everyone involved.

2) The budget you have established for your special day. It would be wise to plan within a certain amount of money in case of an emergency switch in vendors or unforeseen expense- as this would be considered proactive. At the same time, if something that has already been decided or “locked in” ends up being disputed or argued over and could incur another expense that is unreasonable- stand your ground. If the bride and groom can spare the expense then by all means but if this stretches their budget, remember as the planner, it is your responsibility to ensure they stay within their budget.

3) What do the bride and groom want? We know that our male counterparts can be NID’s (Not into Details) but it is important to note that it is about the joining of the bride and groom that matters most. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have parents and or family aid in large monetary contributions towards incurring costs. Therefore, if the bride and groom are paying for the majority of the wedding themselves, it should be what they want.

4) How much stress is this causing or how much stress does this have the potential to cause? Is it really worth it? Is everything else taken care of besides these changes? Is it possible that changing things now will create more commotion and possible quarrels?

Don’t lose sight of the most important thing; marrying the person of your dreams and letting nothing come in the way of that happening. Of course you want your day to be as close to perfect as possible but it must also be a stress free and happy day as well. So no matter the detail, or who is causing the rukus… speak with your better half and your planner and see what is best for the bride and groom.